6 + 8 = Welfare?

Oh Octomom, you never fail to disappoint. Fourteen kids, fetish videos, failed attempts at fame and now welfare? My, my, my..you have been one busy woman.

Out of curiosity, six children were not enough for you? Fuck I can barely handle one. What makes you think this is acceptable? How can you be a good mother to FOURTEEN kids? How do you devote time to every single one of them? How do you sleep? Do you know how many grandchildren you are going to have? How many of your brats are going to be criminals? How many are going to follow in your footsteps and suck the teat of an already over-burdened system? You are one selfish bitch but I hope, for the sake of your kids only, you get a deal with TLC. Although, in reality (no pun intended), how many more television shows about morons breeding can the general public handle?

I get it, you thought for sure that you would get your own reality show. Why not dream big? Kate whatshername did and look what she got. Eight kids, a cheating husband (can you blame him though), a TV deal and an adoring  a public that despises her. You are just like her, yes? No you are not. You have no husband, fourteen kids and no TV show. However, you do have the public despising you. One out of four isn't too bad, right?

Life has certainly dealt you a shit hand, hasn't it? No, wait, it hasn't. You dealt your own shit hand and like the security guards in casinos, the public now has to deal with your mistakes. The people of California are now responsible for paying, literally, for your ignorance. I have to ask the question again, why weren't six kids enough for you? Hell, why weren't two or three enough? Did you think your kids would live off breast milk for the duration of their lives? Did you not factor the $2000.00 per month for food into your budget?

OCTOMOM! I have so many questions and the answers I am receiving are not satisfying my curiosity! The internets are not revealing your secrets either. If I "friend" you on Facebook, will I have the answers I so desperately need? How about I "ghost-write" a memoir for you? This will solve both our problems; you get some much-needed cash and I have more demeaning material for this blog. Win/Win, right? Although, Sarah Palin's book was on the discount shelf of Chapters about a month after it was released and she was a major government figure with her own reality TV show. Hmmm... I may have to renege my offer. Sorry.

In conclusion, you're an idiot. Good luck with your topless career.