Twenty Years Ago....

…today.

I was 16 years old, in grade 11 and attending Fine Arts school. I was decked out in flannel, a baby doll dress and Doc Marten boots. I was probably stoned in the smoke pit, out back of our tiny school with my 6’4” tall, pale, black-haired boyfriend. I was angry, I was mean and I thought I was pretty damn cool.

We listened to Ministry, Pearl Jam, Mudhoney, NIN, Fugazi, Thrill Kill Kult, KMFDM, Skinny Puppy, Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots and of course, Nirvana.

Twenty years ago today, Kurt Cobain killed himself and I didn't give a rat’s ass. There was no mourning period, there was no candlelit vigil, I didn't cut his name into my arm…I.Didn’t.Care. Girls I knew were milking it for all it was worth; suicide attempts, sobbing in the hallways and black clothing from head to toe. I didn't get it then and I don’t get it now. What was all of the fuss about?

Cobain was a junkie who apparently couldn't handle fame and everything that went with it. He was a mediocre guitar player, a brilliant songwriter and a charismatic performer. He was also a coward who left behind a wife and child in an act of selfish stupidity.

Why do we continue to celebrate him? Did he really change the face of music? I don’t think so. How quickly we forget about bands like Green River, Soundgarden, Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr. These were the true pioneers of the “grunge” movement. Nirvana just happened to be there in the right place, at the right time and they brought it into the mainstream. I’m not discounting their work though. I love every single album they released but I know enough about music, especially that genre, to know they weren't the gods people make them out to be.

So, to all you weepy thirty-something attention whoring grown women, suck it up bitches. He’s long dead, the grunge phenomenon is long gone and you look ridiculous with those anarchy symbols scratched into your arms. It definitely does not smell like teen spirit anymore…