My Life As a...MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....

I am now, in my head, a human dairy cow. My milk gets pumped out of my breasts, put into bottles and/or bags and either consumed by my very voracious son or frozen and donated to a very deserving man. Either way, some dude is milking me dry.

I exclusively pump and bottle feed my little guy so I definitely noticed when I had a dip in my milk supply. After trying the herbal way, I finally went on medication prescribed by my doctor and my milk production went into overdrive. That, combined with baby boy starting solids and partially sleeping through the night, has left me with a freezer full of milk that probably won't get used. I started looking into donating to mothers in need but the insane screening process left me a little irritated; I know my milk is good, I have no toxic habits and I'm relatively healthy so fuck all of this rigmarole and just take the damn milk, right? Nope. I looked to my fellow mommies for help and was moved by a story about a local man who had lost his wife just five weeks after their second child was born. His daughter is only a few days older than my son and his plight breaks my heart.

This man has accepted breast milk from over fifty donors without question or judgement. The only question he asked me is how how it was stored. He also knew more about breast milk storage than anyone in my household. I was suitably impressed and a little humbled. I asked him why he didn't ask a lot of questions and his answer astounded me. He said that he believes people are inherently good and he goes on intuition; if he gets a bad vibe from somebody, he graciously accepts the milk, gives a little bit to his daughter and if she rejects it then he knows he was right. He's only ever received "bad" milk once and he did think something was off with the woman who supplied it but tried it out anyway. Subsequently, his baby refused it and it went down the drain. Some may see this as a colossal waste but I see it as a parent knowing what's best for their child.

Pumping and bottle feeding is very time-consuming; it involves sitting down four to five times per day for 15-30 minutes depending on time of day, attaching my boobs to suction cups and watching as a machine drains the milk out of them. Add the time it takes to feed my baby and I'm out of commission for three to four hours per day. Add to that the time it takes to clean the bottles and transfer the milk from bottle to bag to fridge or freezer, and you have another hour. So we're talking about four to five hours just devoted to feeding my baby. I was going to throw in the towel at six months postpartum but this man has inspired me to continue my pumping journey until I go back to work in five months. It seems a small sacrifice, but in the end I'm helping two babies, a widower and my bank account. Not too bad for one as selfish as I.