I Took a Break....

.....from social media giants Facebook and Instagram. A one month hiatus if you will. I needed the break from the constant din and clamour of businesses, friends, family, and acquaintances. My brain needed to focus on what was important and my emotions needed space to exist independent of others. 

Social media can be a great tool for keeping up with people's lives, promoting one's self, crowd sourcing, event planning, selling shit, and maybe even dating. What it's not great for, but really good at, is emotional abuse. We can look at this a few different ways.... 

• the constant need to keep up with the Jones'
• forcing emotions on others
• passive aggressive post-it notes
• shaming and belittling people
• abating the importance of something to another person
• negative attention getting behaviour
• .....and on and on and on

I can honestly say I've engaged in most, if not all, of these behaviours. I'll even go so far as to say that anyone reading this has done the same. There's no such thing as innocence on social media. Every word you write, every picture you post, is intentional. Most times, the reaction you elicit, positive or negative, is intentional as well. You know, and we know, exactly what you're doing. Whether it's that post about how depressed you are, or the one where you use "to all the people/to the person" or some iteration of that, people know what's going on. Sure, you'll get the desired response for a day or two, but what you're really doing is alienating people and draining them of emotional energy. THIS, this is the type of stuff I was escaping from. 

Facebook IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL THERAPIST. Rarely will you find a person that's actually qualified to deal with your anxiety, depression, PTSD, past and present trauma, co-dependency issues, and to a lesser extent, your loneliness, to name a few. Please, please, please can we stop with the emotional vampirism? Please. Nobody likes a Colin. 

I am not averse or indifferent to the feelings and emotions of others. In fact, I encourage friends and family to confide in me, and they do. What I don't appreciate is the unsolicited dump of bullshit into my lap at every turn. "But S, you do it too!" Of course I do, however, I tend to pepper my bullshit with humour and well-placed adjectives. That being said, I'm not perfect but I'm perfectly self-aware and have a keen ability to "read the room". 

I took a moment to regroup, get my head together, focus on myself and the people that are truly important to me. Did I miss it? Not really. Did anyone notice? A few. Do I fucking care? Nope. The only thing I missed was the knowledge of upcoming events, one event in particular, Dark Side of the Moon Burlesque. When I found about it, after the fact, I was somewhat devastated. It prompted me to reconsider my aversion to social media and possibly reactivate my accounts. 

So here I lie, er, am.... Emotionally broken, physically so-so, and mentally firing on all cylinders. I've made some very positive changes over the past month or so, and will continue on my path to I have absolutely no idea...