This could be offensive to some... Deal with it, I am not apologising.

The New Year is just around the corner and it is time to make some resolutions. Most people decide to become more active, eat less, quit smoking, etc. While I agree with all of these options, we are ultimately destined to fail. Just yesterday I received some coupons in the mail from a major fast food chain. Buy one get one free, steep discounts on numerous "sandwiches", two can dine for $2.00... COME ON! How are we supposed to stick to our resolutions with these high pressure sales tactics that appeal to our inner cheap selves? It's not fair! While I can avoid foods like this because they tend to cause me to spend more time in the bathroom than I am comfortable with, a lot of people do not have the willpower.

So what happens to these people? They become overweight, unhealthy and end up taxing our health care system. Heart disease, diabetes, gastrointestinal disorders; it never ends! So you tell me, is it worth saving the extra $1.00? When your medical premiums increase $10.00 per month for twelve months, how does your inner cheapskate feel? Better yet, how much do you enjoy the shaky, shaky of your hips and ass as cellulite swirls about under your skin?

Like we do with drugs, with the exception of weed, just say no! These foods are like drugs; salt, sugar, fat, all appeal to your inner addict. Stop eating it. Eating = obese = unhealthy = unhappy with yourself. While we are talking about it, go for a walk or as mentioned in a previous post, exercise with your gaming console. Sign up for a yoga class, kickboxing, belly dancing, zumba... Something that you will enjoy and look forward to. While you are there you will also make new and interesting friends with the same goals as yourself.

Stop taxing the health care system. Like I said before,  this costs generally healthy people such as myself more money. We don't like that. Shit that can be controlled should be controlled. I am sick and tired of paying for the mistakes of others. This includes you smokers! You stink, you're killing yourselves and you're pissing me off. I quit, what the fuck is wrong with you? (There is nothing worse than an ex-smoker eh?)

So we come back to New Years resolutions... Stick to them. Throw the coupons in the recycle after you shred them (people are sneaky and will do anything for their drug), buy nicorette or whatever other smoking cessation tool you need and start exercising. All it takes is some willpower and swift kick in the ass from me. Oh and maybe a reward or two like these sweet new shoes I treated myself to just for being awesome....