It's New Years Eve and while I am not going to divulge my plans for fear of internet stalkers, I can speak freely about the hype, right?
So ladies... you have your dress, you are shopping for last minute add-ons, getting your hair did and waxing your nether regions all in hopes that you will find.. THE ONE. Really? Come back to reality world girls, it's New Years! THE ONE will be completely wasted trying to fondle your ass while simultaneously slobbering all over the inside of your mouth with his tongue and dumping champagne down your back with the other hand. Does this sound romantic? Maybe if you are equally as drunk and DESPERATE.
And men... What makes you think we like it when you get completely obliterated on cheap champagne and Kokanee? You can dress in your finest suit and Chucks, shave your stubble and put some product in your hair but trust me when I say this.. No matter how hot you look at the beginning of the evening, if you are a drooling mess by midnight, you ain't getting near our lips(well mine anyway).
Moderation people! What makes New Years different from any other Friday or Saturday night? Triple the price of everything? Paper tiaras? Before the ball drops and after are just like any other party. It's New Years for about a minute and a half, then the magic is over. It's kind of depressing really, especially if you are one of those people that didn't get "the kiss". Personally, I try to kiss as many people as possible. Nobody can escape my soft, supple lips! I enjoy seeing my lipstick smeared across as many mouths as possible, male or female. Although usually in the case of females, it will be in their cleavage.
The moral of the story is? Celebrate but don't be stupid about it and leave the expectations at home. Have a good time with your friends, family or one thousand strangers in the hotel ballroom. Dance, drink (in moderation) and try not to throw up in the THE ONE'S mouth if you finally do find him or her. I vote for group hugs and kisses, comfortable shoes and getting home safe but I am relatively sane and have been through my fair share of disastrous New Years Eves. Trust me on that one...
I shall include a picture that pretty much sums it up:
Happy New Year everybody!
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