Epic Fail...

Do you ever want to tell somebody they have failed at life? Am I mean for having this thought at least once a day? I encounter such stupidity on a daily basis, it makes me wonder how some people manage to make it through life at all.

Let's use driving for example. The lack of turn signals amazes me! How about those people that signal left and then turn right? Don't even get me started on slow drivers and people that completely miss left-hand arrows at stop lights. FUCK! If you cannot operate a motor vehicle with some competence, STOP FUCKING DRIVING! I'll admit, I have been known to fuck up occasionally but it's pretty damn rare and it's usually when I am drunk. In the not too distant past I drove the wrong way down a street and a few weeks or days later, turned left on a red light. Both times the same person was in the car... Hmmmm... It cannot possibly be my fault, right? Too much of a coincidence. Damn you Dances With Bass! I also have some speed issues but until I am caught I'm gonna keep doing 120 in a school zone. Mwuah ha ha ha!

Then there is the grocery store. I'm kind of an idiot when I have to use the self-check-out. That mofo scares me and I am lazy, especially if it involves keying in produce codes. Although, I think they should consider giving a discount to people that use those things because it's not like they have to pay a cashier. Anyway, dumb people at the check-out; it blows my mind! It is pretty self-explanatory; follow the instructions and pay attention to the flashing, primary coloured buttons on the screens. Easy, yes? No. I have seen people with two items take longer than others with twelve. The bag situation confuses them (me too but I finally got it), putting cash in the money mouth with the head facing the right way and finding barcodes. It does baffle the mind.. I guess I have watched enough cashiers check out my purchases to kind of understand how it all works. I really do feel sorry for the attendants at the self-checkout. If that were me, I'd be coming to work with a bomb by the end of the week.

Last thing... Skanks. You know the type, right? Fake everything; orange tans, perky boobs and lips that look like their 'roid monkey boyfriend punched them in the mouth one too many times. They walk around with "Juicy" emblazoned on their asses and gold dripping from every orifice. They are wearing obscene heels that they can't walk in, low-cut, nipple baring shirts and shorts that look like granny panties. These ones definitely get the "FAIL" stamp. What goes through their heads? Air, that is all. Have you ever tried having a conversation with one of these bimbos? Vapid, lifeless and focusing only on diet pills and colon cleanses. Ew.

So there you have it; a few things that piss me off on a regular basis. Usually when I encounter these morons, I turn the other cheek and keep on walking (driving) but every once in a while, you'll find me gesturing rudely and making snide comments because it makes me feel better. I know this is not very nice and definitely not lady-like but do you think I care? Of course you don't. Sometimes you just gotta get it out or you're likely to blow something up...or somebody?

PS.. I don't actually drive drunk but thanks for thinking I do. Jerk. Don't believe everything you read.