J tells me his hard drive at work died while on a week's sabbatical. He has lost everything from the last eleven years including all of our correspondence. I am sad. I curse computers.
Mowing the back lawn, dog digs a dirt bed under the plants, rests, watches and eventually sleeps.
Lawn mower hums, hits a pine cone and shrieks in protest.
The fresh-cut grass smells delicious and I begin to understand why people buy grass scented candles.
I realise I am thirsty, walk into the house and forget why I am in there. Once I remember the water, I meander into the backyard with a list in my head of what I will do in the next thirty minutes. Start the lawnmower again and mow a spot I have already done. Cursing my own stupidity, I continue but forget what exactly I was supposed to be doing for the next thirty minutes.
Eventually finish the grass. I feel a little enlightened but have no idea why.
Food is my friend. I eat a huge green salad with many crunchy things and pineapple curry dressing, a bowl of cherries and some pad thai salad. My favourite was the pumpkin seeds. I wonder how this can be as they were such an insignificant part of the salad.
I want to feel clean and refreshed. It's shower time. The water is so clear and the sound of the drops hitting the bathtub is soothing. My soap smells like fruit but I cannot pinpoint which one as it is a synthesised scent. As the water is running through my hair, a thought invades my tranquillity; J's company is spying on him. I decide they are looking for our correspondence. I've no idea why but this idea will not leave my head.
I watch the reunion episode of GIRLS, as always, I feel sorry for Hanna and laugh at Adam. Is he clueless or is he complex? I haven't figured it out yet.
The spying idea pops in for a visit again and I decide I must write this stuff down. A few hours ago, I forgot what I was doing and now it all comes back.
I am no longer sore from the epic bike ride of yesterday, my stomach is no longer upset and my brain is content in the fact that I will never be perfect.
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