It's true.. Why should I? For the most part I am a responsible adult; I pay my bills on time, pay my taxes *shudder* and manage a home with an eleven year old and a few pets. Oh and there is also that pesky job thing I tend to. What more does society expect? A perfect 1950s style lady, that's what. Well society, I say screw you and the Cadillac Series 61 Coupe you rode in on.
A story: I'm helping child with her paper route the other day, headphones in, Crue cranked loud, doing my best Tommy Lee impression when one of those stupid crossover car/SUV/Mini-Van things drives by with your typical suburban mom and two kids in. I know this particular mother and she is indicative of what you would find in the suburbs; uptight, judgemental, gossipy bitch. Anyway I give a slight wave in the middle of my drum solo and see the typical roll of the eyes and shake of the head. It took everything in me not to give her the one finger salute and instead stuck to the tried and true sign of the horns with a "get fucked" under my breath. I continued on and encountered many stares as I started my rendition of "Shout at the Devil"; I was every member of the band at this point and was having a great old time. I eventually forgot where I was and what I was doing.
Fast forward a bit and I am walking up to one of my neighbour's homes with a paper in one hand and a sample bag of chips in the other. He thanks me, notices the food and tells me this will go great with joint he is about to smoke. Huh? I must have looked gobsmacked. He then asked if I would care to join him. I politely declined for obvious reasons but left that driveway with a new found respect for my neighbourhood. A few houses later, I encountered another dude outside. I give him the goods and he tells me the chips will be a great pre-dinner snack with his beer and offers me one. I am again forced to politely decline but leave him with the promise of another day. Have I walked into the Twilight Zone? Do sample bags of chips bring out the awesome in everybody? I was tempted to walk over to the crotchety bitch's house and offer her some to see if she would produce a few tabs of acid and the offer of a threesome.
I am left wondering if these guys saw me rocking out earlier and assumed I would be up for a party or were they just being friendly? Why are men more open to acting like teenagers while women are intent on following a stereotype that has been in place for fifty plus years? Are the men rebelling against their uptight women? I know I certainly would and in fact, probably spend most of my life in a rebellious state. Why can't we just be a little crazy sometimes without judgement? If I wanna play the bass line from George Clinton's Atomic Dog in the middle of the sidewalk as the sun shines down and sweat pours down my back, why the fuck can't I? If I saw somebody doing that, I may be inclined to get out my car and sing along....
Yeah, this is a story of a famous dog
For the dog that chases its tail will be dizzy
These are clapping dogs, rhythmic dogs
Harmonic dogs, house dogs, street dogs
Dogs of the world unite
Dancin' dogs
Yeah
Countin' dogs, funky dogs
Nasty dogs
Atomic dog, atomic dog
Rock on my friends.. ROCK THE FUCK ON!
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