I realised over the past few weekends how very fortunate I am. In a matter of three weeks I saw a half-naked R2D2 on roller skates, discovered an awesome new beer, had all my senses dazzled by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, rode in a Tardis tuktuk, saw Slayer for the first time, ate candy for brunch, went ice-skating in the middle of the city, saw a bruised stripper, hiked to a beautiful view, discovered the wonders of orange cardamom in chocolate and managed an afternoon bedroom acrobatics session. Of course I did not do these things by myself, I was accompanied by the most wonderful people one could ask for in her lifetime. Not only do these people choose to spend time with me, they seem to enjoy my company and they never make me feel less than adequate.
Many people spend a lifetime trying to find friends like mine; friends that don't judge, friends that are honest and friends that love unconditionally. Not only do I have pals that fit the description above, I also have a mate that fits the same description and more. The others don't see me at my worst and are rarely victims of my sharp temper. Despite all that, my James stays by my side and loves me more than anybody has loved me in my thirty-six years. This guy really does deserve a medal.
I wish I could say the same for the people that are blood relatives but unfortunately I cannot. I live in constant fear of being judged and ridiculed. I've been told that I'm a bad mother, a poor role-model and a selfish individual. I've taken the high road time and time again, justified their behaviour in my mind and bandaged my own heart in hopes that it wouldn't scar. Alas, I realise it's time to cut the ties and hope for the best. Will there be less people at my funeral? Sure. Do I care? Nope. It's quality over quantity as far as I'm concerned. Life is not a popularity contest. (No I don't plan on dying anytime soon)
My family are the friends that surround me, my James, my daughter, my parents and my furry companions. They are the people that know I deserve happiness and help me to achieve it. They are the ones that offer advice and when I choose not to take it, don't say I told you so but offer their shoulder for me to cry on. All the others are simply acquaintances that don't deserve the effort of a phone call, an email or even a text message.
I can thank my family for sharing the experiences that make me happy; it could be live music, hang gliding, tasting new beer, dancing in strange places or a long chat over coffee. They are willing to try new things with me and not criticise if it turns out strange or dull. They understand my need for adventure and my need for rest. They get that I can't always be on and they're nice enough not to drop things in my open mouth when I fall asleep in the car. They know that I will inevitably put my foot in my mouth and rarely get offended when it pertains to them. They know my flaws as I know theirs but we accept one another and live in a way that embraces it all. We do not share the same opinions on everything. Some of us are religious while the others are not. We are capitalist, socialist, liberal and conservative and know that we can have a good, healthy debate because of our differing views. When the debate ends, we shake hands and have a drink. We educate and enlighten one another but never alienate somebody because they are different. We are all different and that's what makes it work.
I often hear the saying blood is thicker than water and while you can't control who your blood relatives are, you can certainly control whether or not you continue to allow them in your life. Would you allow yourself to have a tainted blood transfusion? Of course not. You do everything in your power to ensure that doesn't happen. Maybe we need to be a little more diligent when it comes to the people we allow in our lives. Just because you were born into a family, it doesn't mean you have to stay there. Blood is indeed thicker than water but it does leave worse stains.
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