You're So Square...Baby I Don't Care

You go off birth control and you try to get pregnant but then you stop trying and then you try not to obsess about it.

But then your period is late and your boobs hurt and you take the test.

How about that?

But am I freaking out? Noooooo. Obsessing? Yessssss.

The man of course, is not fazed in the least. I should be more like him.

In fact, his response to my announcement that I am pregnant?

“What about Gallifrey in February?”

How about “There goes my drinking for nine months” or the wildly popular “There goes my ass that I worked so hard to achieve in kickboxing for the last year.”

So you've probably guessed by now...we're having a baby! Yikes, right? We're going to parents. Together. The guy who can't remember to feed himself without an alarm and the girl who still binge drinks in her mid-thirties. Yes, that's us. Two of the most selfish and irresponsible people you probably know.

I already have one so it's a "been there, done that" kind of thing for me. I'm still not sure if she's going to turn out okay but I'm willing to risk another. That being said, I really am starting over as it's been thirteen years. Thirteen years! Who in their right mind starts over after thirteen years? Me, that's who. It's amazing the sacrifices one is willing to make for the one she loves. Although sacrifice may not be the right word, it's how I'm feeling at this very moment because as I previously mentioned, I'm a bit selfish.

Over the last few years, I've gained my freedom back. My kid is old enough to stay at home alone and make her own meals. Granted, she can only make pasta, microwave corn, and chicken but it's a start. I've been travelling about, partying as I like, going to concerts, and working like a crazy woman and a lot of that has now come to a screeching halt. I'm not resentful, regretful or sad, not at all. I feel content and I feel like my life is going to get back to normal. Casseroles in the oven, organised photo albums, and up-to-date laundry are some of the things I am most looking forward to. I'll be spending weekend nights at home with my family doing the types of things that families do I guess.

All of that being said, I'm not going to abandon the person I've become. I'll still enjoy live music whenever I can and the company of some of my closest friends that know me as a woman independent of children. Maybe the new baby will come with me with those giant baby headphones to block the sound of thrashing guitars and screaming. The liquor and weed will have to be put on hold for a while as well but I'm pretty sure I'll make up for it eventually because despite who I am now, who I was thirteen years ago and who I'm going to become, I'm still me and that's not likely to change.