The baby arrived eleven weeks ago and holy shit, I kinda forgot how bloody time consuming these little tyrants are. He is constantly demanding food, diaper changes, sleep, and love; can't he do all of these for himself? I'm sure if we were in the wild...oh wait, we're not, so let's start there, shall we?
I am tired of hearing about when we were cave men, back in the day, before we evolved, etc... The key words here people? Before we evolved. We are not cave people anymore; our brains evolved to the point where technology helps us with our day-to-day tasks whether we like it or not. Dishwashers, cribs, formula, vitamins, strollers, medications, smart phone apps....We have created these things to make life a little easier in order to free up time to do more interesting things. Do people really enjoy doing the dishes? No, probably not, well except this cousin I have, I'm pretty sure she loves washing dishes but she is the exception to the rule. Not everybody enjoys sleeping with their babies, wearing their babies, breastfeeding their babies or eating their own placenta. For those that do, props, but my brain and body require some time to reset and if that means that my baby sleeps in a bassinet next to my bed and drinks formula every now and then, so be it. Parent shaming needs to be a thing of the past, unless you don't vaccinate your children then shame on you.
I am definitely guilty of side-eyeing the weirder things such as placenta eating, baby chiropractors, and paleo formula but when it comes to where the baby sleeps or whether or not he is breast or formula fed, I couldn't care less what other parents do. We do what's right for our family, you do what's right for yours. Shut your fucking mouth if you have an opinion that I don't care about especially if that opinion is meant to cause hurt and guilt. Parents have enough self-inflicted guilt as it is, we don't need any extra help with that.
Another thing I am encountering? Parents that over schedule their babies' lives. What the actual fuck? How does somebody get out of bed every morning, get themselves ready and baby ready for 9:00am or whatever the fuck time baby gym starts. I can only think they are from Krypton because most days I am incapable of getting a shower before noon and I'm pretty damn efficient. Also, babies need down time. They need 15-20 minutes every few hours where they just kick around on the floor. If you're constantly out and about with baby in the car seat, they don't get that time and you don't get that time to unwind and reset. I was at my weekly mom and baby group and there was a woman trying to convince me to sign up for all of these activities and events with her and her baby; she was seriously doing a different thing every day, sometimes twice a day. Ummmm....no thanks. I would rather lay around in my pajamas, do laundry and cook dinner most days. I get seriously stressed out when shit doesn't get done around the house and I have a housekeeper that comes in every other week. How do these people keep up if they're constantly out? Again, back to my Krypton theory.
Last thing... I'm still me. A frazzled, exhausted version of me but still me. I still like to drink beer, listen to loud music, and swear like a trucker (I just made myself sound like a redneck) so call me every once in a while. We can still hang out if you don't mind my baby tagging along or the occasional yawn interrupting our conversation. Trust me when I say I get tired of talking baby stuff constantly and really need the mental stimulation that most adults bring to my life. I really just want my brain back as it's functioning at about 50% of it's usual capacity as you can tell from this disjointed post full of spelling errors, hypocrisy, and poor grammar.
Until we speak again....
Well said, daughter!!!
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